What is good my people’s! It’s MC and I’m back on the seen with my fly ass gangsta lean.
So, my girl Aida (yes she’s Dominican) invited me to her youth group again and since Devon (my ex and so much drama) was home from Job Corps for the weekend I decided to go. Now I ain’t gonna front I was a type thirsting to go back and see that nigga Gabriel, he’s cute but again I have way too much drama going on to add some other dude to the mix. Even though a church boy might be a good look right now Devon would stay trying to play him. I hate him sometimes he thinks he can just make people do whatever he wants them to do. Everything to him is about niggaz respecting him and how they better recognize how he puts it down … what the fuck ever! Put what down? Respect what? I mean I ain’t trying to play him or anything but he JUST went away to get his GED and learn some type of trade, I mean that nigga is 22. I use to worship the ground he walked on, he was so cool to me and he treated me like his princess … but you know shit happens and you move on and that’s what I’m doing. Building a bridge and all that shit.
Anyway her youth pastor, his name is Eli (I thought it was cool that we could call him by his first name) he was talking about how we are all in the family of God and how he knows everything about us and still loves us as his children. Because he’s our father and he loves us more than our own parents and that’s when Eli started looking at me and I could feel the weight of his words on me. I must of looked like he was making some connection because he kept looking at me when he was making a point but my mind was on the 5 train and I was eight years old. We were coming back home from Fulton Street and me and my little sister were playing around on the train. You know giggling and shit like little girls do and my mom was sleeping with her head leaning back and the train came to like a quick stop and start again the they do sometimes and my mother’s head jerked forward and she woke up mad quick. When I think about it now it was mad funny … like my ass is laughing right now … but we weren’t even paying attention to her, we were laughing and playing Powerpuff Girls (it had just started coming on Friday nights on Cartoon Network, that was my shit, yo) she locked eyes with me while I was in mid laugh and her face turned bright red and before I knew it she reached over and smacked the shit outta me. Right in the face like five times and hard as shit, yo. I was sooo embarrassed. I hid my face for the rest of the train ride, yo. I didn’t wanna see none of those people on that train, yo. NOBODY … I could feel all of them looking at me and it made my skin all hot and clammy. The worst part is we were like at 86th street so I still had to get to 149th and there were mad white people on the train to see that shit. Their stares made me feel like savages were raising me. That’s mostly what I know about family. My Tio & Titi are trying but they have they’re own shit and we ain’t his kids. This school year is really important for me, I have to do well right out the box because my junior year was shaky with my drama and all but I know I can do it.
WTF!!! This nigga Devon just hit me up on AIM talking about he wants to take me to dinner to talk about our future!! WE don’t have a future muthafucka! He must think I’m still that stupid lil girl that gave up her first child because he didn’t want three baby mommas …
Deep! I love that we're learning more about her.
ReplyDeleteOkay so here's some more:
ReplyDelete1. Again, I like the real voice and colloquialisms; it is true to the character.
2. I think the use of parentheses to give side information is interesting; I wonder if she will continue to use them in her future posts.
3. The childhood story is good and important to the growth of her character in the reader's eyes. I like that we get the 8 year old perspective vs. the 15 year old one. It also sets up a number of questions that the reader wants answered, including "How did she end up with her aunt and uncle?" and "What/How was she feeling/does she feel about this abortion business."
Good job pulling the reader in and emphasizing the fact that we still know very little about her entire life situation. The suspense just might be killer.