Tony Baxter was born December 21st, 1931 right up in Harlem, U.S.A the second youngest of thirteen children. His birth certificate actually has him listed as “colored” that shit always bugged me out. I only met Grandma Ruby a handful of times before she passed away when I was thirteen. It’s like that with my Father’s side of the family we’re always reacquainted at funerals. I do remember the little sex toys all around her crib, my Mother’s facial expressions when she’d walk into the apartment and that we’d always stop at Junior’s to bring her a slice of Strawberry cheesecake. My Dad’s side of the family lived throughout Harlem, Brooklyn, and the Bronx. When I was a kid he’d take me with him on his monthly visits, every mission we’d locate an old friend and they’d retell the stories of a world filled with bittersweet.
“The family migrated to Brooklyn first from Georgetown, South Carolina, then to Harlem, and then my older brother, Harry, moved up to the Bronx. Hunts Point area but that was after, when he got older and knew Mom was okay. Before that, though, we were pretty much all together in Harlem as much as we could be. Around ten or eleven my older sister Ollie started to bring Billie Holiday around the house but I was too young for that to be a big deal. We had it all, right there in Harlem. As teens Harry, and I played for the Unknown Seven most of them went on to play with the Globetrotters. Your Uncle Harry had a good two-handed set shot, you know. You’d be hard pressed to find a better point guard anywhere in Harlem, better than Cousy too if you ask me but them white boys wouldn’t play us. I should have stayed with it, stayed close to Harry but it was easier to get caught up with everything that was going on. I’d hang out in the poolroom behind the Apollo during intermission and all the performers would be in there. ‘Cause, you know, they’d sell watermelon and crab cakes, man, those crab cakes were good. Slappy White was always there in the poolroom. Do you know who Slappy White is? Bill Robinson would park his shinny Rolls Royce right outside. How about him? Do you know who Bill Robinson is? Mr. Bojangles? He wore black face ok guess not. Pearl Bailey would always be in there too, She married that drummer I always forget his name.”
His eyes were far away packed deep with nostalgia back on his Harlem streets.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Apr 21, 2011
Apr 15, 2011
Between us ...
You're light at the end of a tunnel/clear outta Heaven's sky you appeared as a gift/and you've heard these words back in our world but whenever I write, spit or spray on page our Love evolves/every smile is an intricate, elaborate cavern of laughs packed deep with nutrients/like, when my feet were mad cold cuz a nigga needed to eat/shit, I love you in a space where there is no place or time/Donny Hathaway blasting out the speakers of my heart zone coasting down the soulquarian expressway/this is most definitely the way a man should carry on/too tall too tough us two/back against the wall blowing smoke at the world us two/till we click up wit some down ass riders who be like/word me too/I call you Love because you are/the social network allows me to wish you Happy Birthday on FB, Txt & Twitter from my Blackberry to yours/our bodies twisted in bed cuz we got that Computer Love …
Apr 4, 2011
Pain ...
Smokin’ weed helped me take away the pain, So I’m hopeless, Rollin’ down the freeway swevin’, Don’t worry I’m about to crash up on the curb, Cause my vision is blurry, maybe if they tried to understand me …
2Pac
“Toney, please! Enough already, I heard you.” Her eyes rolled to the rhythm of my father’s voice, “You know, Jean, it really bothers me that I can never finish making my point. What, do you know everything? No one can tell you anything? I’m just trying to be on the same page …” With a wave of her hand, “And I said I heard you”, she turned her full attention towards me, “Hello, Donte, don’t mind your father. He’s in one of his moods.” “And your mother is impossible!” I couldn’t let them trap me back in their War of the Roses tractor beam “Dad said you guys wanna talk to me about something?” He took the cue, pulled a chair close to the bed and cut to the chase, “Yeah son, we think it’s better if you leave town for a while. Your brother and sister are still at home, the people you were in with might come looking for you and we can’t risk you bringing that type of danger into our home.” I hadn’t lived at my parent’s house in a minute so his start was mad fishy. “So we feel that you could use this time wisely if you were inside a structured environment. Redemptive Living would be a good place.” The beads of sweat started from the bridge of my nose again, “You wanna send me to the farm? I ain’t feeling being sent away, especially over there to that place. Plus I got it covered I already talked with Mom-Mom, I’m moving out to Camden.” My father’s face was as calm as I’d ever seen it and he spoke in an assured tone he rarely got to use with my mother around. “Look Donte, you don’t have as many options as you think”, it was a minor miracle she was still quiet. “We spoke with your Grandparents and they agree that under the circumstances you would better benefit from getting cleaned up first and then we think school is the best option for you but only after you graduate the program.”
My mother could hold her tongue no longer, “And the Lord has already showed you to me, Donte speaking His words of truth. Your father refuses to heed the calling so the Lord’s gonna pass over him and hand the mantle to you, baby. All you gotta do is grab it.” He knew she had killed his momentum, “Jean, is all of that really necessary?” My father’s face lost all the peace of the previous moment and they were at it again. I had almost forgot what it was like to be around them. They argued constantly and put each other down like two little kids out to prove the other is stupid. The block wasn’t even close to an option anymore, my parents had cock blocked the Camden move and it was obvious they not only disliked each other but their relationship was worse than ever. Redemptive Living didn’t feel like such a bad move, “How long am I gone for?” My dad stopped mid-argument, “It’s a twelve month process. If you’re serious I could take you up when you get out of here.” Twelve months seemed way too long to be trapped in Bible rehab and I wanted to angle for more time to think this all the way through. Like maybe things weren’t so bad that I needed to go out like this. My father sensed my hesitation. “You never know what a new start like this might bring your way. You’ve pretty much made a mess of things over here, and I don’t see many friends checking up on you. You might not get another chance. You probably don’t survive the next episode. The decision is yours but you really only have one choice.”
2Pac
“Toney, please! Enough already, I heard you.” Her eyes rolled to the rhythm of my father’s voice, “You know, Jean, it really bothers me that I can never finish making my point. What, do you know everything? No one can tell you anything? I’m just trying to be on the same page …” With a wave of her hand, “And I said I heard you”, she turned her full attention towards me, “Hello, Donte, don’t mind your father. He’s in one of his moods.” “And your mother is impossible!” I couldn’t let them trap me back in their War of the Roses tractor beam “Dad said you guys wanna talk to me about something?” He took the cue, pulled a chair close to the bed and cut to the chase, “Yeah son, we think it’s better if you leave town for a while. Your brother and sister are still at home, the people you were in with might come looking for you and we can’t risk you bringing that type of danger into our home.” I hadn’t lived at my parent’s house in a minute so his start was mad fishy. “So we feel that you could use this time wisely if you were inside a structured environment. Redemptive Living would be a good place.” The beads of sweat started from the bridge of my nose again, “You wanna send me to the farm? I ain’t feeling being sent away, especially over there to that place. Plus I got it covered I already talked with Mom-Mom, I’m moving out to Camden.” My father’s face was as calm as I’d ever seen it and he spoke in an assured tone he rarely got to use with my mother around. “Look Donte, you don’t have as many options as you think”, it was a minor miracle she was still quiet. “We spoke with your Grandparents and they agree that under the circumstances you would better benefit from getting cleaned up first and then we think school is the best option for you but only after you graduate the program.”
My mother could hold her tongue no longer, “And the Lord has already showed you to me, Donte speaking His words of truth. Your father refuses to heed the calling so the Lord’s gonna pass over him and hand the mantle to you, baby. All you gotta do is grab it.” He knew she had killed his momentum, “Jean, is all of that really necessary?” My father’s face lost all the peace of the previous moment and they were at it again. I had almost forgot what it was like to be around them. They argued constantly and put each other down like two little kids out to prove the other is stupid. The block wasn’t even close to an option anymore, my parents had cock blocked the Camden move and it was obvious they not only disliked each other but their relationship was worse than ever. Redemptive Living didn’t feel like such a bad move, “How long am I gone for?” My dad stopped mid-argument, “It’s a twelve month process. If you’re serious I could take you up when you get out of here.” Twelve months seemed way too long to be trapped in Bible rehab and I wanted to angle for more time to think this all the way through. Like maybe things weren’t so bad that I needed to go out like this. My father sensed my hesitation. “You never know what a new start like this might bring your way. You’ve pretty much made a mess of things over here, and I don’t see many friends checking up on you. You might not get another chance. You probably don’t survive the next episode. The decision is yours but you really only have one choice.”
Mar 23, 2011
My Dialogue is an Alms …
Alms are the highest form of giving. It is the greatest sacrifice of all giving. It is giving from deep within one’s substance, a literal giving of one’s self. This giving opens us up to all the blessings of God. Alms giving are unto the poor who cannot give in return. Any return is directly from the Lord.
Sep 29, 2010
From. My. Soul.
When my head finally cleared a little this morning I realized I felt like million bucks, a hundred thousand feet tall, like a new,
refreshed version of me.
But I couldn't place where all that good
energy came from until it hit me right in the middle of dishes.
It's you.
It's the massive success of the completed task. The task that you
spoke into existence and then carried through to fulfillment.
On days when you felt inadequate, you pressed on. On days you felt
lost, you pressed on. When you felt overwhelmed and under supported, you pressed on.
And though I've said it I have to say it again because not only am I
proud of you, I'm inspired by you. You've reminded me, just like when we first met that dreams are not only to be chased but captured then set free to chase again.
I. Love. You.
And I can never say it enough.
Next up? I believe that's me ...
From. My. Soul.
M
refreshed version of me.
But I couldn't place where all that good
energy came from until it hit me right in the middle of dishes.
It's you.
It's the massive success of the completed task. The task that you
spoke into existence and then carried through to fulfillment.
On days when you felt inadequate, you pressed on. On days you felt
lost, you pressed on. When you felt overwhelmed and under supported, you pressed on.
And though I've said it I have to say it again because not only am I
proud of you, I'm inspired by you. You've reminded me, just like when we first met that dreams are not only to be chased but captured then set free to chase again.
I. Love. You.
And I can never say it enough.
Next up? I believe that's me ...
From. My. Soul.
M
Mar 28, 2009
Live from somewhere ...
Forever blasted, in effort
To shelter me from the
Presence of your absence
My heart weighs heavy
My lungs challenge maximum capacity
Relentless negotiation with time for more
Nostalgic concerning each day’s unique imprint
Because today my son, you are 8
But tomorrow, you will be 8 and another day
Each story quickens my memory
While every developmental milestone exhumes
Our journey into endless infinity
My goodness you were right
She did come, the lady with stuff
To make everything … better
To shelter me from the
Presence of your absence
My heart weighs heavy
My lungs challenge maximum capacity
Relentless negotiation with time for more
Nostalgic concerning each day’s unique imprint
Because today my son, you are 8
But tomorrow, you will be 8 and another day
Each story quickens my memory
While every developmental milestone exhumes
Our journey into endless infinity
My goodness you were right
She did come, the lady with stuff
To make everything … better
Mar 10, 2008
someone had to be judas
I think it is safe to say that most of us live in the abyss between the pseudo and the chaotic. We are continually vacillating between the two stages hoping to find a place beyond something … a place that is real, new, fresh, and alive.
Why is there so much disconnect? Can most of these failings be directly connected with and attributed to the lack of authenticity found within our church experience? Does this make it difficult to see oneself as a vital member of the body of Christ? Or are we simply asking too much from the community of faith? It’s been said, “church is the place where natural enemies gather. That, in essence, is what the Kingdom is.” I have also heard it said, “Grace is always manufactured from the outside but is God’s gift. It will always be external forces that push the church to be the church that God intends for it to be within His creative intention.”
Another question I found myself exploring, as a youth minister is why we were so “in-reach” focused. Not a week went by without my office being inundated with flyers, club cards, and other “ministry explosion” invitations. All of these events promised that the Spirit of God would be there and lives would be altered. Within this invitation there is little to no mention of their own local community, which they are called to serve. Instead these invitations often ask that we invite our community youth. Why has the expression of our faith reached entertaining proportions? Why have we identified what is pseudo as reality and identified reality as heresy? What are we so afraid of?
On the one hand it can be said that we lack the ability to dialogue with the world outside of our church walls. But it may actually be that we lack the very desire to even go outside. What are the effects of this mentality on our core mission? Do we still see ourselves as salt? Is it still part of our functionality to be a light on a hill? Or is that expectation not only lacking in cost efficiency but also woefully inefficient? It is my opinion that Sunday morning may be the largest, ongoing pseudo-event happening. Mercifully, God’s thoughts are so far above our own that life sometimes will simply force us to consider a wheat & tears theology (Matthew 13:24-30).
Another crazy question I started to ponder revolved around the inclusion of Judas into the Twelve. Was Judas’ inclusion into the circle of the apostles more for the community of the twelve? Asked another way, were there human elements deep inside of Judas, which could only come to the surface through the blessing of authentic relationships – which in turn would draw other human elements out of the other members within that circle?
Is Judas the ultimate “wheat & tears” example?
It seems we have, for years focused on the “spiritual” component of Judas’ selection. We understand that someone had to betray Jesus. But are we also able to see Judas as someone who had no desire to understand the principles of the Kingdom because he almost seemed to become disillusioned with Jesus and His Messianic pronouncements?
I think what we fail to highlight is Jesus’ inclusion of someone whom He knew was already disqualified and seemingly had nothing to offer. Could it be that Judas represented the possibility of someone who was regenerated while their mind still resided within the depths of Hell?
Failure of imagination is the loss of the ability to envision life any differently than the life already being lived and experienced by the person. Could Judas have suffered from a failure of imagination? Could this have been his main assault to the Kingdom? Was it his inability to imagine a life separate from what he already envisioned the Messiah to be that doomed him to be the one who would betray the Son of Man?
I wonder if this could another glimpse at some of the root causes behind our stagnated Evangelical youth movement. Are we ready, as a community of faith, to not only seek to convert souls but actively seek the conversion of the even more difficult to reach imagination? Are we willing and able to allow God to convert our imaginations? Can we imagine this Grace, which the Lord will bring from the outside, to be what will most definitely propels this conversion?
Although there are so many questions standing between where we are and our destination, one thing I do understand is that this does not happen in isolation. It can only take place within authentic community. This is indeed the very hard journey to finding a way of understanding and enjoying God through our family of humanity.
Why is there so much disconnect? Can most of these failings be directly connected with and attributed to the lack of authenticity found within our church experience? Does this make it difficult to see oneself as a vital member of the body of Christ? Or are we simply asking too much from the community of faith? It’s been said, “church is the place where natural enemies gather. That, in essence, is what the Kingdom is.” I have also heard it said, “Grace is always manufactured from the outside but is God’s gift. It will always be external forces that push the church to be the church that God intends for it to be within His creative intention.”
Another question I found myself exploring, as a youth minister is why we were so “in-reach” focused. Not a week went by without my office being inundated with flyers, club cards, and other “ministry explosion” invitations. All of these events promised that the Spirit of God would be there and lives would be altered. Within this invitation there is little to no mention of their own local community, which they are called to serve. Instead these invitations often ask that we invite our community youth. Why has the expression of our faith reached entertaining proportions? Why have we identified what is pseudo as reality and identified reality as heresy? What are we so afraid of?
On the one hand it can be said that we lack the ability to dialogue with the world outside of our church walls. But it may actually be that we lack the very desire to even go outside. What are the effects of this mentality on our core mission? Do we still see ourselves as salt? Is it still part of our functionality to be a light on a hill? Or is that expectation not only lacking in cost efficiency but also woefully inefficient? It is my opinion that Sunday morning may be the largest, ongoing pseudo-event happening. Mercifully, God’s thoughts are so far above our own that life sometimes will simply force us to consider a wheat & tears theology (Matthew 13:24-30).
Another crazy question I started to ponder revolved around the inclusion of Judas into the Twelve. Was Judas’ inclusion into the circle of the apostles more for the community of the twelve? Asked another way, were there human elements deep inside of Judas, which could only come to the surface through the blessing of authentic relationships – which in turn would draw other human elements out of the other members within that circle?
Is Judas the ultimate “wheat & tears” example?
It seems we have, for years focused on the “spiritual” component of Judas’ selection. We understand that someone had to betray Jesus. But are we also able to see Judas as someone who had no desire to understand the principles of the Kingdom because he almost seemed to become disillusioned with Jesus and His Messianic pronouncements?
I think what we fail to highlight is Jesus’ inclusion of someone whom He knew was already disqualified and seemingly had nothing to offer. Could it be that Judas represented the possibility of someone who was regenerated while their mind still resided within the depths of Hell?
Failure of imagination is the loss of the ability to envision life any differently than the life already being lived and experienced by the person. Could Judas have suffered from a failure of imagination? Could this have been his main assault to the Kingdom? Was it his inability to imagine a life separate from what he already envisioned the Messiah to be that doomed him to be the one who would betray the Son of Man?
I wonder if this could another glimpse at some of the root causes behind our stagnated Evangelical youth movement. Are we ready, as a community of faith, to not only seek to convert souls but actively seek the conversion of the even more difficult to reach imagination? Are we willing and able to allow God to convert our imaginations? Can we imagine this Grace, which the Lord will bring from the outside, to be what will most definitely propels this conversion?
Although there are so many questions standing between where we are and our destination, one thing I do understand is that this does not happen in isolation. It can only take place within authentic community. This is indeed the very hard journey to finding a way of understanding and enjoying God through our family of humanity.
Mar 5, 2008
Whatever happened to lamentations?
“Christianity has always insisted that the cross we bear precedes the crown we wear. To be a Christian one must take up his cross, with all its difficulties and agonizing tension-packed content and carry it until that very cross leaves its mark upon us and redeems us to that more excellent way which comes only through suffering” – MLK Bearing The Cross
These words spoken by Dr. King have the ring of unmistakable truth and perspective to them that could only be born out of an understanding of personal and communal suffering. As our group explored the sheer scandal of The Cross we saw how The Cross was not only a scandal but it scandalizes. It seems vibrantly clear that God intentionally organized scandal into His family line because of their serious intentions concerning the incarnation (Jesus coming down to earth).
* Jesus was Asian-born, identifying with more than 1/3 of the world’s population, He also came from a mixed racial heritage.
* His birth was shameful bringing Him into direct connection with the 79% of teenage unwed mothers in the U.S. and the 1,000,000 teenage girls who become pregnant annually.
* After He was born He instantly became a political refugee, easily connecting Him with the 50 million people worldwide who have had to flee their homes over the last 10 years due to political unrest.
* His immigrant status links Him with the 8.7 million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S.
* His living in poverty connects Him with the 1,745,663 children in the U.S. that live on less than $6,645 a year
* By 2020 over 60% of the worlds population will be urban, young, and poor-Jesus grew up in the same surrounding conditions
* Jesus said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nest, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” 3 million men, women, and children were homeless in the U.S. over the last year alone
* He was an outlaw – 25% of young African American males are incarcerated or on parole
* He was despised and rejected – Bias against race, religion, and sexual identities are the leading motivations for hate crimes in the U.S.
* He was an innocent victim – Every 11 minutes a child is reported abused or neglected in the U.S., that amounts to nearly 3 million
* Forsaken by His Father – Of the 72 million young people in the U.S., almost 25% live without their father and 50% of the 11.4 million young black people live without their father
* He was murdered – Black males 14-24 make up 1% of the U.S. population but 30% of all homicides
* He had to endure The Cross, which is the greatest scandal of all
“The first condition of healing is to bring the pain and suffering into view” – Kathleen M. O’Conner-Lamentations and Tears of the World
What do we do with a church systems that seems to have the complete hiding of pain and suffering as its number one agenda item? As a New Yorker there are certain sufferings I have become blind to seeing because of the lack of representation in my every day view of sight. An example of that type of silent suffering is the homeless, when Giuliani was in office he did such a “good” job with the homeless that you actually forgot about them because you hardly ever saw them. Since I did not see them I was extremely under aware of their pain and suffering, the same-out-of-sight-out-of-mind experience seems to be taking place within the church. We preach a Gospel of “upward mobility” with very little focus on the process and the actions that would help families and communities move toward a fullness of life with dignity, justice, peace, and hope.
What are we afraid of? Does the fear of actually being stripped of the 12-step approach to Christian vitality motivate this hiding of pain and suffering? It seems that we see Christ as the Holy conjurer and our actions and behaviors are the keys, which activate His acts of benevolence. If one of our fellow sojourners is lacking in the blessing department we can quickly subscribe a modification to their behavioral practices in hopes to appease the great giver of stuff. Somehow Christians interact with their loving creator as if He were god of mythological inclinations. I wonder what happened to our theology of suffering? That is a particularly messy branch of thought because we are continually at a lost to explain the sufferings of life; this is compounded by our utter lack of availability in the area of presence. Could our blind reliance on Divine healing be attributed to debilitating fear we have when forced to gaze upon pain and suffering?
Our desire to reduce the gospel in order to control it is alarmingly manifested as serpent theology when superimposed in the lives of those who suffer. Serpent Theology is a perversion, it happens when those who are powerless have already adopted and internalized the mindset of those in power. So those who suffer have internalized the belief that they are most certainly not more than conquers because their life circumstances dictate that they remain nameless, faceless, and doomed to suffer outside the gate. According to Hebrews 13 this puts them right next to the suffering savior but our rush to resurrect Him robs Him of the dignity accorded to His pain. It is our blind allegiance to the Easter experience which devalues the Garden experience, the beatings He suffered, the Via de la Rosa, and the cross itself. Why do we rob The Cross of its subversive power?
“Art does not answer the impossible theological questions. When thought and reason come to an end in the face of unthinkable evil or unbearable personal loss, art provides us with the means to invent or organize, to create a place of being where we are helped to endure the question: Where is God?
Amy Bryan – Contemporary Artist
When pain is fully exposed that is when it has the best opportunity to be healed, we believe that for our counseling sessions but not as a major component of our daily walk. Do we view pain and suffering as a distracting selling point to those we are trying to lure into a fulfilling tithing experience? I know prosperity seems like a logical selling point for those lost in what we perceive to be despair but maybe all they are really looking for is authenticity and presence. These two things were in abundance within the first century church because of the power of the Holy Spirit. This power was manifested in the fully when they attended to the Greek widows in Acts 6, their suffering was not overlooked, they were not further marginalized by the community which was suppose to simply see them.
How many suffering people have we done violence to by simply overlooking them and thereby stripping them of their dignity? Have we disallowed the gift of lamentations? All laments have in common the direct address to God, a list of complaints, words from the speaker that are reassuring to them, words of motivation for God to act, and a petition for Justice. Have we done violence to the poets as they lament their tragedy because of the uncomfortably their pain brings us?
These words spoken by Dr. King have the ring of unmistakable truth and perspective to them that could only be born out of an understanding of personal and communal suffering. As our group explored the sheer scandal of The Cross we saw how The Cross was not only a scandal but it scandalizes. It seems vibrantly clear that God intentionally organized scandal into His family line because of their serious intentions concerning the incarnation (Jesus coming down to earth).
* Jesus was Asian-born, identifying with more than 1/3 of the world’s population, He also came from a mixed racial heritage.
* His birth was shameful bringing Him into direct connection with the 79% of teenage unwed mothers in the U.S. and the 1,000,000 teenage girls who become pregnant annually.
* After He was born He instantly became a political refugee, easily connecting Him with the 50 million people worldwide who have had to flee their homes over the last 10 years due to political unrest.
* His immigrant status links Him with the 8.7 million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S.
* His living in poverty connects Him with the 1,745,663 children in the U.S. that live on less than $6,645 a year
* By 2020 over 60% of the worlds population will be urban, young, and poor-Jesus grew up in the same surrounding conditions
* Jesus said, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nest, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” 3 million men, women, and children were homeless in the U.S. over the last year alone
* He was an outlaw – 25% of young African American males are incarcerated or on parole
* He was despised and rejected – Bias against race, religion, and sexual identities are the leading motivations for hate crimes in the U.S.
* He was an innocent victim – Every 11 minutes a child is reported abused or neglected in the U.S., that amounts to nearly 3 million
* Forsaken by His Father – Of the 72 million young people in the U.S., almost 25% live without their father and 50% of the 11.4 million young black people live without their father
* He was murdered – Black males 14-24 make up 1% of the U.S. population but 30% of all homicides
* He had to endure The Cross, which is the greatest scandal of all
“The first condition of healing is to bring the pain and suffering into view” – Kathleen M. O’Conner-Lamentations and Tears of the World
What do we do with a church systems that seems to have the complete hiding of pain and suffering as its number one agenda item? As a New Yorker there are certain sufferings I have become blind to seeing because of the lack of representation in my every day view of sight. An example of that type of silent suffering is the homeless, when Giuliani was in office he did such a “good” job with the homeless that you actually forgot about them because you hardly ever saw them. Since I did not see them I was extremely under aware of their pain and suffering, the same-out-of-sight-out-of-mind experience seems to be taking place within the church. We preach a Gospel of “upward mobility” with very little focus on the process and the actions that would help families and communities move toward a fullness of life with dignity, justice, peace, and hope.
What are we afraid of? Does the fear of actually being stripped of the 12-step approach to Christian vitality motivate this hiding of pain and suffering? It seems that we see Christ as the Holy conjurer and our actions and behaviors are the keys, which activate His acts of benevolence. If one of our fellow sojourners is lacking in the blessing department we can quickly subscribe a modification to their behavioral practices in hopes to appease the great giver of stuff. Somehow Christians interact with their loving creator as if He were god of mythological inclinations. I wonder what happened to our theology of suffering? That is a particularly messy branch of thought because we are continually at a lost to explain the sufferings of life; this is compounded by our utter lack of availability in the area of presence. Could our blind reliance on Divine healing be attributed to debilitating fear we have when forced to gaze upon pain and suffering?
Our desire to reduce the gospel in order to control it is alarmingly manifested as serpent theology when superimposed in the lives of those who suffer. Serpent Theology is a perversion, it happens when those who are powerless have already adopted and internalized the mindset of those in power. So those who suffer have internalized the belief that they are most certainly not more than conquers because their life circumstances dictate that they remain nameless, faceless, and doomed to suffer outside the gate. According to Hebrews 13 this puts them right next to the suffering savior but our rush to resurrect Him robs Him of the dignity accorded to His pain. It is our blind allegiance to the Easter experience which devalues the Garden experience, the beatings He suffered, the Via de la Rosa, and the cross itself. Why do we rob The Cross of its subversive power?
“Art does not answer the impossible theological questions. When thought and reason come to an end in the face of unthinkable evil or unbearable personal loss, art provides us with the means to invent or organize, to create a place of being where we are helped to endure the question: Where is God?
Amy Bryan – Contemporary Artist
When pain is fully exposed that is when it has the best opportunity to be healed, we believe that for our counseling sessions but not as a major component of our daily walk. Do we view pain and suffering as a distracting selling point to those we are trying to lure into a fulfilling tithing experience? I know prosperity seems like a logical selling point for those lost in what we perceive to be despair but maybe all they are really looking for is authenticity and presence. These two things were in abundance within the first century church because of the power of the Holy Spirit. This power was manifested in the fully when they attended to the Greek widows in Acts 6, their suffering was not overlooked, they were not further marginalized by the community which was suppose to simply see them.
How many suffering people have we done violence to by simply overlooking them and thereby stripping them of their dignity? Have we disallowed the gift of lamentations? All laments have in common the direct address to God, a list of complaints, words from the speaker that are reassuring to them, words of motivation for God to act, and a petition for Justice. Have we done violence to the poets as they lament their tragedy because of the uncomfortably their pain brings us?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)