a voice from the under

The subject of finances and spiritual wellness are prevailing conversations within the African American and Latino Church community simply because most of the congregants are economically challenged in some way. Narrowing our ways of seeing God and reducing His capacity to mostly fiduciary, we desperately need to believe in a God that will supply our every financial need because our financial needs are so overwhelming.

Those within the same faith community who do not suffer from the ravages of under employment and under education seem to attribute their success to God’s favor and blessing over their lives. While it is extremely difficult to argue this thought process, it is juxtaposed to the reality of those without the same benefits but seemingly serving the same God. Therefore to equate God’s blessing with financial wellness is affirming to some and debilitating to others, if for no other reason but that it presents a hazardous question while offering no solid answers.

It is these issues as they relate to financial wellness, which present one of the largest inhibitors to our ability to hear or see the Gospel message with clarity and power. Neither position - those asking for money or those who are asked to provide it - are able to be in agreement, while most of those on the margins of life continue to suffer.

Ironically enough, as we continued to discuss the church’s inability to listen to the voices of the marginalized some within the discussion felt as if they were being pushed off to the margins. It became clear to me that all one needs in order to qualify as a marginalized individual is to simply feel that way. This became the case, as some felt extremely uncomfortable with the direction of the dialogue, seeing it more as an attempt to tear down and indict the Church instead of an objective conversation concerning the perceived blind spots of the Church.

In response to this feeling, those of the marginalized viewpoint began to become vigilant protectors of all things church, conceding nothing - even against certain personal convictions. As this took place the ability to listen to each other began to be replaced with the desire to convert one another, and true to our human blueprint we eventually began retreating from those believed to be in the camp of the opposite point of view.

It was amazing to me as I observed our inability to sit and honor the pain we were witnessing within each other. We were a group that gathered together on some level of commonality, we all at least believed in a theology from below but as we attempted the ministry of coming together our ability to listen to one another began to disintegrate under the weight of our own world-views.

When reflecting on what I saw as I watched Tim during the week I noticed that I had little to no ability to sit in the presence of his pain, no ability to enter into his pain because his pain opened way too many of my own issues. It knocked up against too many of my own “do not enter” areas, so I left him … standing there … alone. Even though he asked me to stand there with him. This is in no way an over dramatic account of the information but more an observation on how I couldn’t do what I feel I am in some ways really called to do.

Look at and understand the pain of others.

I seem to think that I’m able to observe and on some levels understand the utter dysfunctional nature of the Cross - the exceedingly grotesque nature of it all - but as I watched Tim I realized I couldn’t even listen to him. Forget about mustering enough courage to look at him and I get the feeling that most others couldn’t either … not without passing judgment in some manner. When he reached out, I turned my back, and if I could do that with him (a man I have an intense admiration for), I know that I’ve done it with those I work with and believe that I work for.